Johnny Dudeguy and the Rad Rangers
Once there was a boy by the name of Johnny Dudeguy (Doo day goo ee). Johnny grew up in Townsville, and was very destitute and had to live his life as a thief. Johnny had a passion for shooting with his sling shot, and although he was a thief he still had a right sense of justice.
When Johnny was younger he was best friends with Notso Niceman (Nee see main), until one day Notso’s parents stocks shot up kangaroo stepping on a nail. Notso became infatuated with money and after the increase in ram in his computer, size and resolution in his TV, and moving from Nintendo 64 to X-box 360, Notso realized he desired power.
High school was rough on Johnny, leading his group of rad rangers, so they called them selves. Just a group of kids that played poker on the weekends and hung out down on the bench down town, and simply had fun all the time. One day Johnny and his friends were trying to steal food from the lunch ladies, since they were too endeavored to not be able to afford cracker nor crumb. When Notso see’s what they were doing, came over while his butler followed, and he laughed at their expense, then started to chow down his king krab, and Peking duck. Notso left the rad rangers scrawling on the floor for fallen scraps. With their moral low, Johnny knew it was up to him. He gathers the men for their next exciting adventure.
“Gentlemen, our lives our tough, but are we not good men.” Johnny says.
“We are!” exclaimed the men.
“And Notso, does Notso deserve to live a life of luxury while he stomps over the spirits of the weak and the down trotted?”
“Nay”
“My fellow brothers, don’t let anyone make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want. Notso’s a little fat, I think it’s about time he went on a diet.”
Notso was in for a surprise, after drinking his soda imported from
Word spread of Johnny’s heroics, he was known as the man who would rob from the rich and give to the poor. They encouraged joining the student council, knowing that he would be a man of the people. That same year Notso decided that if he became student council president, he would have the power to do what he wanted with the school.
Voting day came, and Johnny of course won his spot on the student council, but Notso ended up losing to Richard King. The next day as Richard was about to be sworn in, when he fell ill. The doctors said it was treatable, but they were as curious as to how he could have fallen ill like this. “He just had a check up last week, and was in perfect health.” said one of the doctors.
Notso was trying to act shocked and worried, but everyone could notice the smirk that he was unable to wipe away. For with Richard out on sickness, Notso shall take the thrown of President. His first task was removing Johnny from the council, knowing that he had the influence to sway the council against him. Menacingly Notso framed Johnny and his pack of thieves of steeling the golden football state champion’s trophy of ’88. Johnny and his Rad Rangers were now outlaws of the school, they had to hide away on the far side of the parking lot past were the cool people ate lunch, where the greasers showed of their cars, and even past the smokers. Notso sent his trusted sidekick, Welliam Lame, captain hall monitor, out to capture the Rad Rangers.
When Welliam approached the group, the Rangers cornered him and backed him up against one of the greaser’s car. Knowing that the pen is mightier than the sword, he pulls his trusty metal pen out of his back pocket to write them all detentions. As he pulled it from his back pocket, he scratched the 85 charger he was against, the one belonging to Rod Harrington, the toughest greaser and leader of the grease monkeys. Needless to say Rod and the greasers didn’t let Welliam leave so quickly.
While in office, Notso was thinking about the students, thinking of how they can benefit him. He decided that the students could benefit from a school-wide tax, with the acting President exempt from the tax, and that he the acting president should also ride on the homecoming float with the homecoming queen Mary Ann, Johnny Girlfriend.
When Johnny heard about this, he was completely infuriated, he went to go stop Notso, but was blocked by ten hall monitor dorks, and taken into detention. In order to keep Johnny from being suspended, Mary had to agree to go out on a date with Notso, even though Notso could afford the best looking hookers in the town, it was the thought of having Johnny’s girlfriend that got him excited in the pants. Just as she was about to hop into Notso’s limo, she see the Rad Rangers grab all the hall monitor dorks and lock them in the broom closet. Johnny quickly pulled out his sling shot and hit the driver knocking him out. Mary and Notso turned around and saw Johnny and his band of brothers standing there.
Notso called out more dorks to protect him, as he grabbed Mary and ran off to hide away in the AV room. Little Jack, Johnny’s best friend, told Johnny not to worry, he and the rest of the rangers would handle the hallway monitor dorks.
Meanwhile as Johnny rushed to find his beloved Mary, running through the halls he sees noticed something disturbing set up on the hallway televisions. Notso is standing on the open stage often used by the AV geeks. “Oh Johnny, I have your little girlfriend,” said Notso, “and if you don’t want anything to happen to her, give yourself up at the AV room.” Notso pulls Mary off stage as the camera suddenly shuts off.
Johnny ran to save Mary as fast as he could. He entered the room; the lights were off, except for the one shining over Mary, tied up in a chair, as Notso rests his hand on her shoulder. As he slowly walks by, he turns on the camera that Notso has set up and slowly onto the stage with his heart beating rapidly, but his hand as steady as a rock. The lights are then turned on quicker than a little boy watching a Christina Aguilera video. Welliam walks onto the other side of the stage, with a prop sword in hand. Johnny looked down and quickly grabbed one of the swords used by the schools production of King Arthur.
“Do you consider this wise Johnny?” Welliam asks, “After all Notso’s personal trainers have made me very handy with a sword. Give up now, and won’t fight you, for if you challenge me, I guarantee you will not win.”
“His money may buy you lessons, and you may defeat me,” replies Johnny, “but you should not underestimate me or the students. We will not stand for this tyranny. Lay down your sword, and we will go easy on you and Notso.”
“Ha, ha, HA!” chuckles Welliam, “Ok you win.” As he walks to lay sword down in front of Johnny he quickly swings at him tearing his shirt but missing the skin as Johnny leaps back with quickness.
“I figured you might try some cheap move like that.” They begin to battle up and down the stage. Welliam skills are great, but there is one thing that money can’t buy, passion. Johnny is thinking of the students who have been robbed, his gang who have been mistreated, and his girlfriend who is about to feel mister bad touch from Notso’s cold hands. Johnny fights hard and swings the sword out of Welliam’s hand.
“You forget one thing though Johnny.”
“And what is that Welliam?”
“I am on the varsity track team!” yells Welliam as he bolts out of the room and everyone in the halls cheer as the watch from the TV’s.
“You will not get away with this,” says Notso as Johnny approaches him, “I have already successfully framed you and your so called Rad Rangers; you’ll all be suspended soon. And Richard, well I poisoned Richard so that he will be in Hospital for the rest of the semester.”
“But you forget one thing Notso.”
“Oh and what’s that Johnny?”
“I have really good health insurance.” Says Richard as he enters the room. “Hall monitors, please take Mr. Niceguy to detention. Put him on toilet scrubbing duty.”
“Noooooooo!” shrieks Notso as he’s taken away. “Those toilets smell gross.”
“They can’t smell any worse than your breath.” replies Mary.
“Johnny, I saw the video feed, as did the rest of the school, I think it’s safe to say that you and the Rad Rangers are clear of any charges. Come on hall monitors we have work to do.”
As Richard leaves, Johnny walks up to Mary to untie her from the chair, “It’s about time you showed up!” Johnny lifts Mary up and they share their most passionate kiss. Loud cheers fill the hallway; Johnny looks at the camera pulls out his trusty sling shot and knocks out the camera, and proceeds right back to Mary’s lonely lips.
